Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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