I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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