Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
