watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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