No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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