So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
