I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize