bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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