I skipped work to stalk him.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
