Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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