Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
