i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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