your parents love me but you hate me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
