You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
