The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
