shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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