The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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