whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
