fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
