Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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