Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Pooping to opera.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
