WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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