Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
