I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
