ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
