I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
