Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
