Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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