it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
