the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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