I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
