you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
