New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize