well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
