i was born a porn star she said
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
