i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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