I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
