I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I could make wine with my vomit
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
