Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
