I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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