the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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