I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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