So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
