Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
