I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
