school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
