Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
