Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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