He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
