I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
