would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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