he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
