He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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