So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
