my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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