piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
