YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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