i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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