What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
