I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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