Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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