Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize