Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
